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Tuesday, April 16, 2024

What did the tarot cards tell me?

 1.  Examine your inner self, what the weaknesses are that you need to face and the virtues that you can call upon to do so.

2.  Move forward with indifference toward the reveries of the landscape.  All of this, too, shall pass.

3.  Nothing is achieved without total dedication to one's vision.

4.  The enemies are both outer and inner.  Concentrate on your inner enemies.  The outer enemies are mirages that come and go.  Inner enemies are the ones that truly block your progress.

5.  You possess the energy of creation, which always seeks beauty, art, and the science of always being open to learning, to being wrong, to finding true knowledge, which is also beauty and art.

    When my human side falters, I must rest.  I must withdraw.  

    One makes things and it takes a very long time before one may look back and in retrospect, make a clear and honest assessment.  In the midst of the battle, it is impossible.

6. This world is the realm of the raw materials of the alchemical work.  Sometimes it is all too much, even for the strongest and the bravest.  You can't heal everyone, write the most beautiful treatises for nobody to read, collect the most interesting books that you have no time for.

This life is a continuing cycle of night and day, death and rebirth, darkness and light, suffering and pleasure.  It's a giant washing machine and sooner or later you will get caught in the rinse and spin.

It's exactly like being in a bad dream, twisted in a thousand knots, desperately looking for the wallet or the car that someone stole from you, aghast, watching helplessly as the one you love dies... and just as the zenith of anguish, desperation is reached, your eyelids flutter open.


While you are in that rinse and spin cycle, caught in the labyrinth of confusion, contradiction, exhaustion...  you believe it's forever.


YOU BELIEVE.

Therein lies the rub.


                               


Sunday, April 14, 2024

Tarot Reading 6: Rivalry / La Rivalidad

 


Esta Arcana representa la competencia entre dos personas (o más) que aspiran a la misma cosa, para esto necesitan conocer sus puntos fuertes y débiles, la habilidad para vencer al rival.

This Arcana represents the competition between two people (or more) who aspire to the same thing.  To defeat the competition, they need to know their strengths and weaknesses, their ability to defeat their rival.


En el campo de nuestra psicología, se libra una terrible batalla, entre el Enemigo Secreto y nuestra propia conciencia, nuestro propio Ser. →  LO INTERNO

In the field of our psychology, a terrible battle is waged between the Secret Enemy and our own consciousness, our own Being. → THE INTERNAL WORLD


I will summarize:  

Rivalry, competition over external things is a rivalry between my Personality and that of my "competitor".  Karma is deposited in the Personality.  The Personality is multiple and ever-changing.  Feeding the personality creates karma (enchainment).

We create the world outside with the world we carry within.


In contrast to Personality, Being is one and the same for all humans.  Achieving Being is Liberation, Unity, Freedom.


But as we are in 3D, the dimension of duality, we have to work out the problem of rivalry.  This we can only achieve through the virtues of Patience, Serenity, and Self-Observation.

The Egyptian Tarot's perspective is that of Transformation and Illumination.

All that is outside us is, first of all and finally, within us. 

There is a Rivalry, a struggle between the Earthly Human and the Celestial Human.

Martí spoke of the Human-Beast and the Human-Angel.

Back to the text of the Master Samael Aun Weor:

"Una cosa es el Hombre meramente Animal, i.e., el animal intellectual, y otra cosa muy different por cierto, es el Hombre Psicológico verdadero.  Formar al Hombre/la Mujer Psicológico es difícil.  Se trata de ORGANIZAR LA PSIQUIS ---que está desordenada--- para crear el verdadero y auténtico Hombre Psicológico.

"Trabajando sobre nosotros mismos, no nos identificamos jamás con ninguna circunstancia.

"La Personalidad interfere entre el cuerpo y el Ser.  Sirve de obstáculo para la Iluminación. Destruida la Personalidad y el Ego today interferencia subjetiva concluirá y el SER RESUCITARÁ dentro de nosotros para expresarse en toda su plenitud.  El SER, resucitado, se express con Sabiduría, Amor y Poder".


                                       ֍   ۝  ۞


"One thing is the merely Animal Man, i.e., the intellectual animal, and another very different thing, indeed, is the true Psychological Man.  To form the Psychological Man/Woman is difficult.  It is a matter of ORGANIZING THE PSYCHE ---which is disordered--- to create the true and authentic Psychological Man.

"By working on ourselves, we will never again identify with any external circumstance.

"The Personality interferes between the body and the Self.  It serves as an obstacle to enlightenment.  Once Personality and Ego are destroyed, subjective interference will end and the SELF will RESURRECT within us to express itself in all its fullness.  BEING, resurrected, expresses itself with Wisdom, Love and Power".







AND FINALLY, WHAT MAKES COMPETING ABSURD:

Homelessness:   

feel like a failure begging for money,

Homelessness:   

sit in a library just to stay dry,

Homelessness:   

take a long night bus to get some sleep,

Homelessness:   

whilst you ask yourself “why?”

 

Homelessness:   

everything you own in one bag,

Homelessness:   

nowhere to wash your clothes or self,

Homelessness:   

without a kitchen to cook a meal in,

Homelessness:   

no good for your mental health.   

                            (Anonymous)




 Let's compete for a world 
where there will no longer
  be winners and losers.

  Let's compete for 
who can love the most, 
  and the best.




Tarot Reading 5: The Empress / La Emperatriz

 


Axioma Trascendente:  "Tejiendo está tu telar, tela para tu uso y telas que no has de usar". 
Transcendent Axiom: "Your loom is weaving; cloth for your use, and cloth that you are not to use".

El Arcano N.° 3 significa éxito, es producción tanto material como espiritual.

La transmutación de la energía creadora corresponde al Número 3.  Se dice que en el número tres está contenida La Ley de Moisés.

1. Sabiduría - Padre
2. Amor - Hijo
3. Poder - Espíritu Santo

La realización de nuestros propios anhelos, aspiraciones, ideas.
Pero si queremos fructificar, lograr el éxito, tenemos que manejar el Tres con inteligencia, porque en el Tres existe armonía, belleza, arte.

Expresar todo en forma bella.

En el Arcano N.° 3 se representa la diosa egipcia Nebet-het, o Neftis (en griego), llamada "Señora de la casa".  Adorada como la diosa maternal, del nacimiento.  La madre terrenal.  Representa fertilidad, fecundidad, producción material fértil, progreso femenino.  

La Emperatriz simboliza la virtud de la "Condescendencia".

(RAE, definición de "condescendencia":  Complacencia, tolerancia, indulgencia, beneplácito, anuencia, delicadeza, benevolencia).

                                                                    ................................

The transmutation of the creative energy corresponds to the Number 3. It is said that in the number three is contained The Law of Moses.

1. Wisdom - Father
2. Love - Son
3. Power - Holy Spirit

The realization of our own desires, aspirations, ideas.
But if we want to attain fruition, achieve success, we must manage the Three with intelligence, because in the Three there is harmony, beauty, art.

To express everything in a beautiful way.

In Arcanum number 3 there is represented the Egyptian goddess Nebet-het, or Nephthys (in Greek), called "Lady of the house".  Worshipped as the maternal goddess of birth.  The earthly mother.  She represents fertility, fecundity, fertile material production, feminine progress.  

The Empress symbolizes the virtue of "Condescension".

(RAE, definition of "condescension": Complacency, tolerance, indulgence, benevolence, acquiescence, delicacy, benevolence).

Tarot Reading 4: The Conjecture / La Conjetura

My question posed to the Egyptian Tarot was:  Counsel regarding my current situation, please.  I threw six cards. This was the third.





AM:  El principio de Deducción como elemento de Iluminación / The principle of Deduction as an element of Illumination.

AT:  "Ser resplandor en la Luz, y calor en el Fuego, es tu misión para ahora y para luego". /To be radiance in the Light, and warmth in the Fire, is your mission for now and later.

N.° 2 EG:  Sus conjeturas son ciertas; no se descontrole; confirme el hecho de que, hablando, no perjudicará.  /  Your conjectures are true; remain self-controlled; confirm the fact that, by speaking out, you will not harm.


Nos indica la carta que utilicemos el principio de la deducción como elemento de iluminación, lo que en la Gnosis entendemos como el buscar la verdad a través de la experiencia directa y por medio de la meditación profunda.

Elemento de predicción:  Nuevas luces, nuevas enseñanzas, esperanza en madurez.



The card indicates that we should use the principle of deduction as an element of illumination, which we understand in Gnosis as the search for truth through direct experience and deep meditation.


Element of prediction: New lights, new teachings, hope in maturity.






Friday, April 12, 2024

A Literature of Resistance / Una literatura en la resistencia

  

                                                                    El señor y su vasallo
                                                  Publicaré tus libros solo si me juras lealtad
                                                                   y escribes en mi lengua.

                                                           

Carta a don Guillermo-Gómez Rivera

La literatura hispanofilipina del siglo XXI:  una literatura en la resistencia

13 de octubre de 2019


LETTER TO GUILLERMO GÓMEZ-RIVERA

21st Century Hispanic Filipino Literature: A Literature of Resistance

 13 October 2019    

 

Sabes, Guillermo, me he dado cuenta hoy que la literatura hispanofilipina a fines del siglo XX, hasta la actualidad, mientras el gobierno, las instituciones educacionales y el público lector filipino no den importancia a la recuperación del español y del legado cultural hispanofilipino, necesariamente será una literatura escrita y leída en la resistencia.

You know, Guillermo, I’ve realized today that as long as the government, educational institutions and the Filipino reading public don’t give importance to the recovery of Spanish and the Hispanic Filipino cultural legacy, Hispanic Filipino literature of end-20th century up to today will necessarily be a literature written and read in the resistance.

 

                                         Don Guillermo, gran profesor de flamenco en Manila.

 

 

¿Puede haber una literatura nacional auténtica que intente amoldarse a las exigencias de un régimen foráneo, un régimen que se instale violentamente y, ganada la guerra de invasión, rehaga las estructuras sociales, estatales, y lleve una persecución solapada contra una cultura hispanofilipina arraigada tras siglos de avenimiento perseguido con la hispanidad? 

Can there be a literature that is authentically national, if it accommodated itself to the demands of a foreign regime, a regime violently installed after waging a war of invasion, after which it changed the social and state structures of Filipinas, instituting the insidious persecution of a Hispanic Filipino culture already deeply rooted after centuries of persecuted bonding with Hispanic civilization?

 

 ¿Que bajo el régimen neocolonial, en completo aislamiento del resto de los países de hablahispana, intenta sobrevivir e incluso florecer (ya que los yanquis instituían una falsa libertad de expresión mientras preparaban el golpe de gracia institucional, cultural, sociopolítico) bajo las nuevas condiciones y ante la presión que sería cada vez más intensa del inglés impuesto a todo nivel, castigando a los que no lo adoptaban, cerrándoles el futuro profesional? 

A culture that, under the neocolonial regime, in total isolation from the rest of the Spanish-speaking countries, tried to survive and even to bloom (given the Yankees’ institution of a false freedom of expression while they prepared the final institutional, cultural, and sociopolitical coup de grace), faced by the intensifying pressure of English imposed at all levels, and the penalization of those who refused to adopt it by closing off their professional future?

 

 

¿Frente a la dura e implacable realidad de la llegada de nuevas generaciones avasalladas, condicionadas desde la cuna por la nueva pseudocultura filipina de los servidores nativos y una élite hispanofilipina acólita de todo lo estadounidense? 

Before the unstoppable, implacable reality of the arrival of new subjugated generations, conditioned from the cradle by the new Filipino culture of the native lackeys and a retrograde Hispanic Filipino elite that worshipped all things American?

 

Y los que lo habían dado todo, que se la había jugado muy joven aún, en pos del sueño de la República filipina, cómo era posible que no vieran con toda claridad que su mundo, que los había formado e inspirado a comprometerse al ideal de la generación rizalina de un país por todos y para todos, liberado de la tiranía monacal, con su cultura nativa diversa, país unificado por el castellano desde hacía siglos, ya era condenado a desaparecer?

And those who had sacrificed everything, who had gambled everything while still very young, on the dream of the Filipino Republic; how could it be possible for them not to see with utter clarity that their world---a world that educated and inspired them to commit to the ideal of the Rizalist ideal of a country by all and for all, freed from monastic tyranny, a country unified by Spanish for centuries---was already doomed to disappear?

 

La literatura filipina en idioma inglés es un fracaso.  Es una mala copia y solo conmueve cuando revela la angustia del exilio económico, la enajenación, el desgarro, la angustia de su explotación económica en EEUU y la soledad y penuria, vivir hacinados en apartamentos ubicados en barrios de mal vivir, la marginación de los trabajadores agrícolas de California, Hawai, y en las fábricas pesqueras de Alaska, en los años de comienzos del siglo XX, hasta la II Guerra.  Pero los filipinos en Filipinas ni conocen esa literatura.

Filipino literature in English is a failure. It is an inferior copy that only moves when it reveals the anguish of economic exile, the alienation, the wrenching sorrow of abandoning their home, the anguish of their exploitation in the U.S., the loneliness and penury, living in overcrowded apartments in red light districts, the margination of the farm workers in Hawaii and California, and of fishery factory workers in Alaska, in the years before WW II until the war. But the Filipinos in Filipinas don’t even know about that literature.[1]

 

La literatura en inglés escrita en Filipinas no podía competir con los clásicos anglosajones enseñados en los colegios e universidades, tanto públicos como privados. Y los intelectuales de las generaciones des-castellanizadas, no son leídos en masa, son encerrados en pequeños reductos donde no pueden movilizar a la masa porque la masa no los conoce, ni los conocerá. 

The literature written in English in Filipinas could not compete with the Anglosaxon classics taught in the schools and universities, public and private.  The intellectuals of the de-castillianized generations are not read massively, they are separated away in small circles from which they cannot mobilize the masses because the masses don’t know about them, nor will they.

 

 

Las masas ven películas y televisión y leen novelas de preferencia con contenidos importados. Cuando hay creaciones nativas, por ejemplo películas filipinas de excelentes directores filipinos, representan los paisajes del presente, las realidades de la globalización, y cuando tratan el pasado, son capaces de crear imágenes que conmueven y transportan a otro tiempo, pero no son capaces de verbalizar, y penetrar la selva cultural en la que todos nosotros nos hemos perdido.

The masses watch movies and television and read novels preferably with imported content. When there are native creations, such as films by excellent Filipino directors, they portray the alienated present, the realities of globalization, and when they deal with the past, they are capable of creating images that move and transport to another time, but are incapable of verbalizing and penetrating the cultural jungle that all of us have become lost in.

 

¿Y escribir en español?  Porque hay escritores, poetas que escriben en español en la actualidad. 

What about writing in Spanish?  Because there are writers, poets who write in Spanish today.

 

Y ha habido ciertamente producciones en tagalo y en inglés, que intentan afirmar y expresar el sentirse filipino, la resistencia a la consciencia avasallada pero sin el componente de la consciencia de otras luchas, otros nombres, otras mujeres, otros hombres del mundo aquel que en la lejanía son el reflejo y el eco tan sorprendentes del nuestro.......entonces no hay posibilidad de resonancia mayor. Y no habrá, consecuente y fatalmente, movilización en un nuevo sentido,  ligada tanto a nuestra ancestralidad como a la ancestralidad del Caribe y de Hispanoamérica.

And there have certainly been productions in Tagalog and in English that attempt to affirm and express Filipino sentiment, resistance to the subjugated consciousness. But without the awareness of other struggles, other names, other women, other men of the worlds in faraway lands that are the uncanny reflection and echo of ours … there’s no possibility of great resonance. And consequently, fatally, there will be no mobilization in a new direction that will be bonded to our ancestrality and to the ancestrality of the Hispanic Caribbean and Hispanic America.

 

El ser humano que solo tiene este presente vaciado de espíritu de lucha, de sentido histórico, es un ser sin voluntad de autocreación, sin espíritu de autosuperación, y sin conciencia de la unicidad de la especie humana y por lo tanto, no es plenamente humano.  Estas cosas estaban a flor de piel en el siglo XIX, pero se perdieron con asombrosa rapidez en el siglo XX y hoy por hoy, ya somos casi solo mitad humana, porque la otra mitad es máquina.

The human being who has nothing but this present, emptied of the spirit of struggle, of a sense of history, does not have the will to self-creation, self-surpassing, and without awareness of the unicity of the human species and, therefore, is not fully human. These things were very much felt during the 19th century, but they were lost with amazing speed in the 20th, and today we are nearly only half-human, because the other half is machine.

 

Y esto es la razón por qué el filipino, si no es capaz de recuperar el espíritu hispanofilipino, está nuevamente condenado a ser nadie.  Un nadie y una nadie útil, tal vez hasta a las multinacionales, a sus países y sociedades adoptivos, pero para sí, será vacío y sin saberlo.

This is why the Filipino who is incapable of recovering the Hispanic Filipino spirit is once again condemned to be nobody. A nobody who is useful, perhaps even to the multinationals, to his or her adoptive country and society, but for himself, for herself, they will be empty and they won’t know it.

 

Por lo tanto, que viva o muera, poco importa. 

Therefore, whether they live or die, will matter little.

 

De hecho, esta ha sido mi condición de nacimiento, de crianza, hasta llegada a la adultez y ahora a la vejez.  Como escritora, soy de bajo estatus, lo mismo que cuando yo era hija, estudiante, activista, una secretaria, y ahora una traductora y una intérprete.  De bajo estatus.

In fact this has been my condition of birth, of my growing up, until reaching adulthood and now of old age.  As a writer I am low status, the same as when I was a daughter, a student, an activist, a secretary, and now a translator and interpreter. Low status.

 

No obstante, mi activismo, y mis escritos, han sido un intento honesto, firme, de liberación de la consciencia avasallada.  Y mis trabajos por muy insignificantes que son, igual serán una huella tenue.  No he terminado aún.  Hay tiempo que matar.  Seguiré intentando escribir ficción que recree aquel mundo hispanofilipino.....tal como Gauguin imaginó el Tahití que lo obsesionaba, que había desaparecido 100 años antes de su llegada a Polinesia en 1891, y finalmente se dio permiso para rajarse con su imaginación y atreverse a plasmar la imagen interior que lo había poseído, y que terminó por redimirlo.  Así es Hispanofilipinas para mí.  

However, my activism, my writings, have been an honest and firm attempt to free myself from subjugated consciousness. And my works, no matter how insignificant, will leave a tenuous trace.  I haven’t finished yet. There is still time to kill. I will continue to try and write fiction that will recreate that Hispanic Filipino world…just as Gauguin imagined the Tahiti that obsessed him, that had disappeared 100 years before his arrival in Polynesia in 1891, and finally gave himself permission to let his imagination rip, and dare to give shape to the inner image that had possessed him, and that finally redeemed him. This is what Hispanofilipinas is for me.

 

Mi literatura ---al igual que la tuya Guillermo, es  literatura de la resistencia.  No puede ser de otra forma, porque hoy, escribir en castellano en Filipinas es subversivo, sobre todo si uno está vinculado profundo y vivamente al pasado, tú por tu pasado personal como hijo ilustre de Iloilo e Intramuros, héroe cultural hispanofilipino, yo por mi pasado ideológico que me llevó a Chile.  A diferencia de ti y con infinita deferencia hacia ti, que eres el autor hispanofilipino que ha mantenido vivo la llama de Balmori, Recto, Mercado Abad, y eres premiado y miembro de número y director de la Academia Filipina---mi literatura y mi persona somos de bajo estatus, invisibles, pero una cosa que comparto contigo Maestro, me atrevo a gritarlo silenciosamente, es que NO SOMOS VASALLOS.

My literature, like yours, Guillermo, is of the resistance. It can’t be any other way because to write in Spanish in the Philippines or outside it today is subversive, above all if one is connected deeply and powerfully to the past, as you are because of your personal past, as the illustrious son of Iloilo and Intramuros, Hispanic Filipino cultural hero, and as I am because of my ideological past that led me to Chile.  Unlike you and with infinite deference to you, who are the Hispanic Filipino author who has kept the flame alive of Balmori, Recto, Mercado Abad, recipient of the Zobel Prize, member of the Academia Filipina, my person and literature are low status, invisible, but one thing I share with you, Maestro, I dare shout it silently, is that WE ARE NOT VASSALS.

 

Con todo mi amor,

Liz

 




 

 

 

 

Wednesday, April 10, 2024

Tarot reading 3: Consummation / La Consumación

 


2.  Consummation

Upright:  Achievement, victory, science.  Fully taking a project to its completion, but it is impossible to do this without an Iron Will and NON-STOP WORK.  Thus, in accord with that CORRECT FORWARD ACTION, or CORRECT CONDUCT, the objective defined will be lead to a good conclusion.





AM: El Principio de la Determinación de la conducta. AT: “Bebe la gota de tu cisterna o los raudales de tu pozo”. AV: Júpiter.        Letra: R.          Nº 3 EG: Seguridad en sí mismo; plenitud de satisfacciones; convencimiento del propio valer. ¡Cuidado con la vanidad! Derecha: Logro, victoria; ciencia. Reversa: Amor imposible

La CONSUMACION es llevar a cabo enteramente algo; pero es imposible consumar algo sin una VOLUNTAD FERREA, y un TRABAJO CONTINUO que mantenga firme el propósito, para que de acuerdo a ese RECTO PROCEDER o RECTA CONDUCTA, se realice el propósito definido llevándolo a buen término.





Tarot reading 2. The Sunset / El Crepúsculo




ARCANO 18 EL CREPÚSCULO: ENEMIGOS OCULTOS: "Los enemigos ocultos saltan en cualquier momento. Enfermedades. No negocios".

Axioma Trascendente: "SEA TU CARIDAD GRANERO INAGOTABLE Y TU PACIENCIA NO MENOS INAGOTABLE QUE TU CARIDAD".


5. The final card is El Crepúsculo (#18).  I won't go in sequence.

This Arcana speaks of Hidden Enemies.  "Hidden enemies spring out at any moment. Sickness. No success in business ventures."

(I'll just cut to the chase.)

TRANSCENDENT AXIOM:  "Let your charity be an inexhaustible grain silo and your patience no less inexhaustible than your charity."


So cool.

To hate enemies, to be vengeful, resentful, is to carry cadavers on your back wherever you go.





Egyptian Tarot No. 1: The Examination / El Examen

Last year I decided to sign up for a "Taller de Mediumnidad" --- a workshop for learning to be a medium.

Our instructor was a bona fide medium.  She connects very easily with the deceased and can transmit messages.  Later, when I went to see her with another of the class, she told us that our loved ones who have passed on are always around us.  So it's very easy for her to connect with them.

She did different exercises with the class to help us to develop our intuition.  She also did a lot of readings of each of us.  She told us what our virtues and weaknesses were.  More our virtues, less of our bad sides!  So unlike in other zoom meets, we grew in esprit de corps, because we were also revealing our real selves.  Of course, there were so many there, and even in the second workshop when there were fewer participants, I didn't talk much.  

One exercise: she had cards with drawings of geometric figures in different colors on one side.

On the other side they were blank.

One by one, we had to guess what the geometric figures and their colors were.

I did okay with that one.

Another exercise:  she showed us a picture of a person and we had to tell her what we perceived about that person.  Catha said, "Say the first thing that comes into your mind."

She also said, "Relax.  This is play.  Enjoy it.  It doesn't matter if you don't get it right.  It's a game."

I wasn't that good with the photos.

Later on she gave us homework:  to buy a deck of Egyptian Tarot cards.  They are great for connecting with the symbols and just feeling what the card is saying.  Catha said it was a tool of self-knowledge and knowledge of who the other truly is.

We would form dyads.  Say I formed a pair with Juan.  Juan would pick a card that would tell him the answer to a question about me.  For example,  "How is your energy?"  Then I would do the same, this time to describe his energy.

I realized through the workshop that I have good intuition, better than I had thought.  Not so much as in having an inborn talent like a lot of the others.  Some of them were already out-and-out psychics.  Some of them could look at a picture and know that the person had cancer, for example.  Or had lost their father recently.

I am very good at interpreting images and symbols.


Best of all: the Egyptian Tarot cards have esoteric meanings, and I am studying them.  Fascinating.  Even better than the classic Rider Waite or Marseille decks.  There is a website that gives the meanings of the symbols of the 78 cards.  Believe me, they are esoteric.  The website is in Spanish.

Today I did a reading for myself.  It's been a very tricky trimester for me.

Here is the reading:


1.  El examen:   Refers to the need to examine, observe oneself, see the weaknesses of the ego and resolve them. Not to identify with insult, offense, etc.  Never to respond in kind.  Remember that such things pass. Psychological man is full of vanity, weaknesses and vices.  Self-observation leads to understanding and non-identification.  (This is a very basic summary.)


AM: El Principio del Libre Debate. AT: “Rebusca tu viña y recoge los granos caídos; mas no rebusques rencores, ni recojas agravios”.

AM: The Principle of Free Debate. TA: "Glean your vineyard and gather the fallen grains; but do not glean grudges, nor gather grievances".




SYMBOLS IN ARCANA 54:

Upper part:  THOT, the scribe of the gods, sits on a square throne, symbol of the philosopher's stone, the perfect cube of the alchemists.
Central part:  MAXA, the Balance.  The central rod and vertical arms form a Cross. At the base of the Balance is AMMET, Thot's baboon.  On one plate of the Balance is a container, that holds the heart of the deceased.  On the other plate is a feather.  Upon death, our heart will be weighed against a feather.
Lower part:  AMMIT, the Devourer of Human Hearts, the Devourer of the Dead.


The deceased will go through a Judgment before the god ANUBIS and his 42 judges.  To one side of the Balance, Ammit will await the verdict.  If the dead person's heart is lighter than the feather, the deceased will obtain Eternal Life.  If not, their heart will be thrown to the monster Ammit.

Sunday, April 07, 2024

Dónde escribo / Where I write

 I live in a cottage in a canyon called Los Refugios del Arrayán.  It's where the Mapocho River is born, fed by many mountain streams.  At night when the noise of the traffic of the street below dies down, I can hear the song of the stream.




I am surrounded by the view of the mountains.




That huge palma chilena is right in front of my cottage.  It's kind of emblematic: it is, to my mind, Filipinas greeting me each morning.

I don't miss the ugly, sad, decadent cities of Republika ng Pilipinas.  They are to me the rubble of Hiroshima without the resurrection.  My heart goes out to my paisanos and paisanas, especially to the children.  Being born to and growing up surrounded by ugliness, by meanness, by vanity and greed.

I think of my mission as a writer as that of being an ant trying to awaken the moral conscience of my people, which was put to sleep beginning in 1901.  Biting Filipinos' bad consciences.  Or being a horsefly.  Un tábano.

Our collective moral conscience was just awakening in all its glory.  Whereupon it was bludgeoned nearly to death, and, mortally wounded, crawled into the grave it was made to dig for itself by the invader and his minions.

I am an ant wielding a Giant Pen.  

This is why it has been so hard for me to push it.

But we all --- each and everyone of us --- find ourselves somehow in this same situation.

All Filipino writers, who write to serve, more than to milk the golden cow or grab the goose that lays the golden balut eggs.

So I don't think I am anything special --- me, myself and I,  E.M., am the least of the low. 

The only "special" thing about me, I think, is that I have not given up pushing that Pen, and serving the Giant Hands who created it, who are inspiring me, whispering to me, guiding me, showing me ... gifts.  The most Wonderful Gifts that this ant could never have imagined into being by herself.



Of course, to have taken the road less traveled exacts a high price.

But treasures are not buried downtown, nor are they kept under lock and key in bank vaults.

They are buried far away in the kabundukan.  Sila'y nakalibing sa liblib na puoc. 

Today, mining for copper, for gold and other precious minerals in Chile is done automatically, remotely, from control rooms.  Yes, they use giant excavators, those huge silver cylinders that spin and melt the rock.  After humans drilled holes in patterns and stuck the explosive charges and electronic fuses into each hole.  Then the humans safely leave the tunnel.  The control room presses the button. Boom! 

But mining for the secrets of the human soul cannot be done this way.  It must be done the age-old, the hard way.

It's also very mental.

It is in reality, done with the consciousness.

I'll leave it here then.

Just add that, in our "reasonable, pragmatic, efficient, no-nonsense" mentality, you have to be crazy to pursue the mining of the soul.


But a soul as rich as that of Filipinas was crying to be mined, and crazy me, I heard her sigh, and knew she was inside me, because I heard the echo of her weeping as if from an ancient well in my own depths.  I wept with her.  I heard myself!

I had always done, from childhood.  I just didn't know.



So ... in Chile, mining country par excellence.

Don't you think it's just a teensy-weensy bit poetic?

Chile, land of poets.

Poor, unpublished ones.

Ah------I thought the U.S. was my country, but she wasn't, she was my babysitter.  She actually kidnapped me.

But I found my way here.

From the Cordillera Central to la cordillera de los Andes.


Poética Menor

 

                    "El lenguaje común menciona cosas exteriores, por lo tanto ilusorias.      

                      La realidad habla por boca del Poeta"


Here, in Chile, la República de Filipinas, Ang Repúblika nang Filipinas, spoke to my heart, and in the quiet of the Andes, I heard Her.