Yep, I took a break. Two days. Had stuff to do, true.
But I just didn't feel like pushing the river.
I was pissed off.
It was taking too fucking long.
I realized: wake up the fuck, Liz!
It takes a year to produce a book!!!
That's if you even found a publisher.
Nobody is waiting. There is no deadline.
Yeah, I faced the facts.
So I got stuff done.
I'm still not done.
Couple more things to take care of.
But... I just did some correcting this morning, for the hell of it.
Hey, you know what?
I enjoyed it.
Nope, I didn't go to that extreme.
But I hope, one day, I can.
I can't suicide myself getting this novel
out to the world.
I _did_ have a little talk with myself, it went something like this:
It's not about ego, I didn't do it to become a J.K. Rowling. I'm not stupid. Nobody is interested in Filipinos. Not even Filipinos.
No, I'm doing it because I discovered things and I wanted and needed (don't ask why, well you wont, you already know the answer) I want and need to
put something out there that isn't new --- it's as old as the hills --- but that
might make Filipinos interested in themselves.
And the rest of the world too, with any luck.
So because Filipinos would never publish it if I had written it in English,
and because it was conceivable that, if it was in Spanish,
SOMEONE out there might publish it, and some ones out there
might read it... yeah, it made sense to write a novel about Filipinos in Spanish.
Because I've been hearing it for 42 years: Why do Filipinos have Spanish last names???
Well, by this time more people know that we were once
a Spanish colony.
But that's all.
So what's the rest of it?
Here's a novel that offers a few pages in answer.
To the Spanish-speaking ones, even among Filipinos.
While I was correcting a bit more this morning,
I thought: wow, this is really fun.
Yeah..... I gotta do something else now,
but I'll be back.
It's okay.
I'll enjoy correcting the rest of it,
and then
I will take a break.

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